On one hand, I say “Face the facts” and listen
to the man. And on the other hand, I have to do a full psychoanalysis of the
relationship and whose really at fault for things going wrong: it is clearly
me. This is not a defenseless, naive girl who is making excuses for the man: it
was me testing and challenging our relationship over and over. Again, this was
not a relationship that ended because of his mistakes, but because of my
own. The incident with the Moroccan is a
mystery, but all his reasons involved my behavior, which were things that were
100 percent true.
I am aware of my
mistakes, my words, and actions. When I
had a problem, I would always call him and relied on him to “fix” everything
for me. What kind of relationship is
this? The beginning is suppose to be bliss not full of problems constantly.
After breaking up, we were talking sporadically
throughout the week. At first, I asked
if his decision was final because I still thought maybe he was just angry when
he made the decision. I tried to explain
to him that I appreciated everything he did for me and I want to work on our
relationship not just give up 100 percent.
He said his famous statement, “I already take my decision.” After this,
he hung up the phone on me, I decided that I needed to just let go and move on
at this point.
Although, he was my friend to begin with and I
was not ready to just let that go 100 percent.
When we did speak a couple times, I could hear in his voice that he
still cared for me, but he was clearly repressing his feelings or guilty for
his own action-Who knows?
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