This week of March 11 to March 16 has been an absolute Disappointment
disaster. Cancellation, Cancellation, cancellation from one person to the next:
“friends,” “students,” and Mr. Casa NYC” Cancelling and saying he is going to
call and not following through. He was doing so well and then he relapsed.
It is like a balloon that is inflated 100 percent with helium and then
each time one disappointment, another disappointment, and another. Before you
know it, the balloon is completely out of helium. The balloon is flat and out
of air. The next day the balloon will
start all over filling up 100 percent and then slowly and surely the balloon keep
deflating.
It is okay for people to cancel, have their commitments, have a
conference, have a meeting, go on vacation, have their car break down, but
there needs to one person who is consistent and will not disappoint-one person.
Mr. Casa NYC was that person and then he went back to his old ways disappearing
and being unavailable yet again. He was
consistent for a couple weeks being “American” with calls, messages, and seeing each other
and then he reverts right back to being Moroccan(being late and not following
through).
If I can think about this from a positive and spiritual perspective,
disappointment and waiting help the value of patience. One’s patience builds
from these experiences, but the level is so high I just have difficulty using
this Buddhist principles. I joke with
Mr. NYC Casa that the person who wrote the proverb “Patience is a Virtue”
should marry you. He thinks I am joking, but I am absolutely serious. While this is a beautiful proverb, I do not
want to practice building my patience. If I did I would be back in India at an
ashram, which are experiences I already did to build my patience.
Now, I just crave consistency and for people to follow through words
with honest actions-that is it.
Hopefully the next week will be better. As they say in Morocco with
honesty and dishonesty, “Inchallah” but I say it with true hope and honesty.
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