Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Finding Love in A Hopeful Place


Visiting the Layla Hasna Orphanage, I had my preconceived notions of what an orphanage in Morocco may look like. I expected it to be filthy with children running around unsupervised and staff sitting and chatting and looking completely demotivated. I was thinking about state run centers and foster homes in the US and how horrible they were and how hopeless they felt. 

When walking into this center, I felt some hope for these children.  There was a nice play area for them, everything was so clean, they were well dressed in warm clothing, the toys were sufficient, and the staff were friendly and caring. The most astonishing thing was how immaculate the bedrooms were and how nicely furnished. My friend did mention this is one of the nicest orphanages, which is most likely due to it being the orphanage of the Princess.  

With looks of happiness, there were big eyes filled with needs for love and affection.  While I walked floor to floor seeing each age group babies and children up to six years old. I stared into big, beautiful eyes of children who so desperately wanted love.  Children who were seeking a real attachment from a parental figure.  In the play area, children would grab onto my legs and hug me so tight. It was wonderful, but heartbreaking at the same time...

There were a couple things that were pretty sad. Firstly, I could not give all these children homes and adopt them all. There were a few I truly considered adopting. Secondly, the saddest thing of all was that I actually felt like these children. I just feel so hungry for support, affection, and love. It is like I have been travelling for a 1.5 years with all these supports down and I now crave them. I was like the little boy holding onto my leg thinking to himself, “Please don’t let go” It is unfortunate, but it is unfortunately true.... 

When sitting in on a French class, I was absolutely stunned with how these children behaved. They sat nicely, quietly, and participated. They were just like little angels.  A couple of twin boys just arrived and they had these adorably confused looks on their face. The parents had just been sent to jail and they were just sitting and waiting. They were probably thinking, “When are Mommy and Daddy coming to pick us up?”  Sitting and observing, I saw not one child have a temper tantrum or outburst-just a bunch of lovable children in need of parents. You would just never see a picture like this in a US foster care home as there would always be at least one who was misbehaving or many.   

As far as adoption, there is the new Kafala adoption law in place, which does not allow children to be adopted by foreign parents. It is basically taking away parents and safe homes from children who need them more than ever.  Instead of following the law, Morocco does it backwards in this orphanage at least. In the orphanage, it has infants up to 6 years old with girls being first priority for adoption.  In the Moroccan culture, the men can fend for themselves and the women must be taken care of first. Besides this fact, there are some children who were in the middle of the adoption process, but Kafala stopped them from being adopted.  There were a couple kids suppose to go to Italy and one to Spain and instead they stay inside the orphanage.  On the other hand, there was one child the day before who was adopted by a Portuguese family.  The system is backwards and this is not a surprise that they adopt a new law and decide to follow it half way-not a surpise at all for Morocco. 

Another problem is the adoption policy as there is a free return policy? Children are allowed to be adopted and then sent back to the orphanage if the parents decide they do not want them-this is ridiculous. My friend Mady has been working with the orphanage for 2 years and she takes the same children out each week. She told me about her one boy who had his brain enlarged from trauma, but this dramatically decreased after months of Mady spending time with him each week.  After working with him for a year, he was adopted and Mady was thrilled that they found him a home. He was adopted by a successful doctor into a nice home with a new brother. After three months, he was sent back to the orphanage because the doctor decided, “She just didn’t want him.” The psychological damage this does to a child is beyond harmful.  Mady said that he would not talk or move for almost one month and it was very difficult to regain the progress he had already made with her. 

While I have seen many systematic problems in US foster care, which I complained about and did not understand-it appears Morocco also has its fair share of problems.  The system is clearly flawed and especially with the staggering numbers of orphans all throughout Morocco. I just hope their can be some systematic change and they can realize that these children need loving, safe homes. There are not enough Moroccans to adopt these children and foreign adoptions are necessary to provide these children with the lives they deserve.  
These children deserve to meet their potential and live full lives-lets give them a chance Morocco! 

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