A Romantic Believer Follows Her Heart

It was the weekend of Eid and I called to wish him a nice weekend, which the Eid weekend lasted Thursday to Sunday.  I let him be and did not call him until Monday when I asked how his holiday was and still in his voice I could hear that he cared for me.  I had been thinking about doing something romantic to win his heart back.  What did I really have to lose? It was my actions and behavior that ended it and it would be my actions and behavior that could possibly salvage it...

Think twice before you act romantic with an Arab man, it creates the opposite effect and you might just scare them away....

This man had done so much for me.  He had listened to me, held me when I was sad, come to me when I was in pain, and cared for me when I felt alone.  It was my turn to show him that I cared.  My thoughts involved buying a big basket and putting DVDs in it, but it was raining.  I had been singing Taylor Swift, "Today was a fairytale" for the past few days and I decided that I could not hold in my feelings anymore. I had to tell him how I felt and show him that I cared for him. I had to show him that he was not just a "friend with benefits," which is what he said when we broke up.  His insecurities were definitely sparked up in this relationship, but for good reason.  When someone keeps running away from you and challenging you-it is not a sign of love, affection, or sacrifice, but a sign of selfishness and desire to meet others. 

Whether he declines or accepts my romantic gesture, it does not matter-I just have to speak my peace and share this feeling in my heart.  This heightened feeling of romance has not been present ever before as Priscilla does not sing for men in the rain and has never bought a man flowers.....

 So here she goes….

I take a taxi over to his house and it is raining softly, but the ground is still wet and my Tom's are fresh out of the washing machine, but getting all wet from the rain.  I am wearing a white, pink, and silver long dress with hearts, my Egyptian headband, and my white leather jacket-I thought I looked cute for him. My plan was to walk over to his balcony, start singing, and for him to come outside.  This plan failed because of the Moroccan creeps around his house. I was standing outside waiting for the space in front of his apartment to clear.  There were a few guys hanging around that kept trying to talk to me and I told them “Yala” but of course they had to just keep being annoying(classic behavior for this area). 

Minutes were passing by and I felt my heart beating as I felt nervous.  The singing in the rain was not the part that made me nervous.  It was his reaction that made me nervous.  Would he smile and be happy to see me or would he just look at me like “What are you doing here?” I called him from the pay phone and told him, "Come to your balcony."

He came out side and his face lit up so bright(just as fast as it lit up it went cold).  I only got through four lines when the Moroccan creeps started commenting and looking over. I think Mr. Casa became worried and indicated for me to come upstairs.  I did not even get the good parts of my song-all that practice. I sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him to come down, waiting for him to run into my arms, and for us to kiss one another passionately.  Unfortunately, this moment never came for naive, little Priscilla.....

He came half way down the stairs  saw the rose pedals and said, “Did you do this?” I smiled and said, “Yes.”

He said, “Get in.”

I saw his roommate and his roommate looked like he saw a ghost.  I am not sure if it was me spontaneously showing up or if he just did not expect to ever see me again, or if there was another girl coming to the house-who knows.

We sat and talked and he said that the whole thing made him feel more “surprised than happy.” I went to kiss him and it felt like I was kissing a dead fish. Whatever that may feel like.  He invited me to stay and I did just because it was raining.  We sat in bed sleeping next to one another like strangers.  Eventually, he leaned over and we started talking.  He said he would be taking vacation from November 1 to November 6 and then he could clear his head and think about us. 

I guess this statement gave me some hope.  But in my heart I knew that it was clearly over. I told him that I had to express myself whether he was interested or not interested.  It seemed interesting how he was so happy to see him, but he had to hide all that happiness when I came upstairs.  A sad fairytale ending for little, Priscilla.  I do not have regret for what I did as I wanted him to show him that I wanted to work on us and things would change with stability, consistency, and time.

In the morning, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he left....And that would be one of our last moments ever together.....

       Perhaps fairytales are for fools, and reality is for real, living human beings…..