The Invisible Girl

Often, I have lived my life believing I was invisible- invisible to the socially constructed norms of society. Invisible to the main belief that to be truly happy, one has to take the marriage and children track. I worked hard to prove that this is not true by living independently, traveling, exploring, and dating. I would enjoy being in serious relationships, but I was not thinking about getting married. It was focused on having fun with someone who shares my same interests and enjoying life-movies, restaurants, dancing, art, and travel..

But one day it all changed.....

This day really was when I turned 25 where I started to think about having children, to think about marriage, and giving the socially constructed life a chance. While I have always been very selective with my interest in men, as I have looking for Superman(I guess someone like me), i look at men in a different way. It feels like I strongly desire just one man-my life partner. There was one man for a couple years: Mr. Big(Turkish guest star from Adventures of Bollywood Solo Traveler Blog). I did truly believe that he could be the one I would spend the rest of my life with as we were perfect for each other. We had so much in common, but something was missing and I guess two amazing people do not necessarily make a match-it requires a lot more. . Instead of staying in Istanbul, I picked up and moved to Casablanca where I met Mr. Casa-another amazing guy where I wondered where it could or would go.

At 28, I see that I am not an invisible girl anymore and society proves to me consistently that I am not invisible. Regardless of the environment, it is age and my biological clock that have changed my view towards marriage. I am living in Casablanca alone and often I do just feel alone. I truly want to have a partner in Morocco-one person that I can love and count on each and every day. A person who makes me smile when I feel sad

Often, I have lived my life believing I was invisible- invisible to the socially constructed norms of society. Invisible to the main belief that to be truly happy, one has to take the marriage and children track. I worked hard to prove that this is not true by living independently, traveling, exploring, and dating. I would enjoy being in serious relationships, but I was not thinking about getting married. It was focused on having fun with someone who shares my same interests and enjoying life-movies, restaurants, dancing, art, and travel..

But one day it all changed.....

This day really was when I turned 25 where I started to think about having children, to think about marriage, and giving the socially constructed life a chance. While I have always been very selective with my interest in men, as I have looking for Superman, I can feel myself looking at them in a different way. It is a strong desire to be with just one man-a life partner. There was one man who sparked all of these marriage and commitment feelings: Mr. Big (Turkish gueststar from Adventures of Bollywood Solo Traveler Blog). I did truly believe that he could be the one I would spend the rest of my life with as we were perfect for each other. We had so much in common, but something was missing and I guess two amazing people do not necessarily make a match-it requires a lot more.  Instead of staying in Istanbul, I picked up and moved to Casablanca where I met Mr. Casa-another amazing guy whom I thought where could this go?

 

At 28, I see that I am not an invisible girl anymore and society proves this to me time and time again.  Regardless of the environment, it is age and my biological clock that have changed my view towards marriage. I still think about kids, but not as much as I did at 25. Now, I just truly want to have a partner in Morocco-one person that I can love and count on each and every day. While my life goes on with or without it, it seems like it something I really want and I can feel myself more focused on it.

When she was younger, she would hear about this thing called ‘age.” She wondered what it would feel like it and now she knows the true feeling.  The true feeling of becoming an adult who needs to take responsibility, who seeks commitment, who seeks love, who wants success, and wants to live with purpose.....