Sunday, March 31, 2013

Mediterannean Film Festival Tetouan 2013



Often I do not have much luck when traveling out of Casablanca i.e it is raining or something goes wrong. This time I got lucky with the Mediterannean Film Festival happening upon my arrival to Tetouan.
There are featured films from the Mediterranean-Portugal, Spain, Italy, France, and Morocco with various locations in the city centre. Also, it is by far the cheapest film festival with a 50DH fee for all the peliculas (movies) for the whole entire festival. It runs for about a week in three different theaters in Tetouan with the languages of the movies being Spanish, French, Arabic, or Italian (obviously not English).


When it comes to movies, Moroccans have a different viewing practice than America.  It is almost like a social hour where people will talk, comment, answer their phones, shout across the theater, singing, and gossiping.  In one movie, there were a group of girls even going in front of the screen and taking photos of one another. It was a bit obnoxious I must say and luckily there was good security removing them from the theater one by one. 

I had planned on seeing more movies, but I decided to finish my movie ventures with the Moroccan movie behavior. I saw a Moroccan movie, an Italian movie, and a Spanish movie. Watching the movies with Spanish subtitles has been great as I get to practice my Spanish. My favorite movie was the older Spanish movie from 1973 with a beautiful model and artist.  The artist falls in love with the model and then commits suicide because she leaves him and goes to France-tragic, but beautiful- Ce La Vie.  

 

Veni Vidi Vici


After all the ups and downs from the past couple weeks and the disappointment in Casablanca, I decided that it was time to breathe some fresh mountain air up North. 

Off I went on the bus with my new friend, Hamed, on a peaceful, quite bus ride staring at the countryside and into the mountains.  We stopped and ate fish and harira soup together and I sat with Hamed and the bus driver.  As most Moroccans do, they kept saying, “Kooli, Kooli”, which means eat, eat (spelled incorrectly). At that moment, I felt a sense of relief just being around kind, down to earth individuals in the mountains and away Casablanca madness.

Arriving by bus in Tetouan, all the people exited the bus and Ahmed tells me “Atone,” which means wait. He says it is late and he will drive me over to the city centre and his friend will help me find a hotel-so kind. His friend is a tiny old man who appears to be about half the size of me. As we walk up hill, he insists on taking my bag and he carries it all the way to the top. He shows me a couple hotels, which are located in the the centre, but do not meet my expectations. I envisioned sleeping somewhere in the mountains away from the city therefore I decided to contact my host for the first night.   

The Simply Happy Man Inside the Bus

Near my apartment in the Mers Sultan area, there are a couple convenience stores open at night and next to them is a big Oil Libya gas station.  Inside this gas station, there sits a big tour bus and inside sits a little, old man with a black, wool hat and a big smile. I pass by him and say “Salaam Aleykum,” but one day I decided to stop and see where this bus is actually going.

One Casablanca night, I stop by and he is sitting inside the bottom of the bus and drinking a coca cola looking up at me. He sits inside with the door open where he has a pot cooking next to him with vegetables on a gas cooker.  We talk in my Englija (Darija with English) and he tells me he works on the bus travelling back and forth between Casablanca and Tetouan(in the North of Morocco). His name is Hamed. He says he has four children and a wife who live in the village area of Tetouan. He shows me his bed, which lies in the bottom of the bus and points to the coca cola and says “Tranquillo.” He seems very peaceful and simply happy (from Adventures of Bollywood Solo Traveler)-those who do not gain in materialistic things, but have warmth, kindness, and happiness in their hearts (PRIS).

While I had planned to go up North to Chefchouen, I checked the weather forecast and I kept seeing a rainy forecast. Hamed told me there would be a little rain, but less than Chefchouen. After a difficult past couple weeks, I took this as a sign to get on the bus to Tetouan and take a break from Casa. Sitting and speaking with this kind man, I realized I would rather be on a bus with him for 5 hours than around all the fake people I had been encountering in Casablanca.

                             The Simply Happy Vs. The Superficial Rich

Internations Meetings

 
 
 

Meeting 1- Palace D’Anfa- A bit boring
Meeting 2- Sofitel- Great Event
Meeting 3- Hyatt Regency Lounge- Good Event
This past meeting at the Hyatt Regency was a nice mix of people coming from Turkey, London, US, Russia, India, Dubai, and of course Morocco. There were a few familiar faces from the previous event and I met with my Russian friend, Natalie, and another couple Moroccan friends.
As usual, I made my rounds and met a nice guy from Turkey who is starting his own English school over here and opening a hotel in Casablanca. I also met Dr. Ali is from Saudi Arabia, but lives in West Virginia.  He also works with establishing connections between US and Moroccan universities-two great people to meet.
When speaking with another business guy, Moroccan and lived in USA attending Purdue University, he informed me about the Microsoft party happening next door. Immediately, I thought about all the perfect business men of Casablanca (business thinks business)-what a place to network.  I had pretty much said my hellos and made an appearance at Internations and it was time to check out this big Microsoft event.
I walked in and saw a whole new Casablanca-men dressed in beautiful suits and women looking beautiful (still not on the fashion 100 percent). In Morocco, it is truly the men who have the fashion sense and know how to dress for the occasion or just everyday.
While there were many good looking men, it was not my focus as all I thought was “networking and business English contacts.” The setting could not have been more perfect. My new friend introduced me to a few people and I gave out my card to a handful of people. I still felt the “Casablanca fake syndrome”, which means that people were a bit arrogant, superficial, and ingenuine.  This “Casablanca fake syndrome” presents itself when you are hanging out in the “scene of Casa.”
Most of the time, I just sat and smiled and laughed at people’s jokes and spoke a little bit of Arabic. It was a nice social and nice for people watching and a few contacts for business. They had a great live band from Mali who were playing the bongos and singing and I enjoyed the deserts consisting of a ten layer chocolate cake. While people were drinking, I was sipping on an Oulmes.  It is great having absolutely no interest in drinking and just observing those around me.  I was content with the chocolate cake and the Zwin men walking around=)
                      A Good International and Local Night In Casablanca
 
The Microsoft Cake-delicious
 
 
 

Operation Smile Mission March 23 and 24


Off we went to El Jadida, I drove from Casa with a couple doctors and a dental assistant for the Operation Smile mission. During this mission, dentists and their assistants volunteer to come perform extractions and fillings for the local community. 

My friend Mr. Abdou has been working with Operation Smile for over ten years. And I must say that working with him this day it was evident that he is doing wonderful work and working in his purpose-proud of him.  He is very kind and his smile makes me happy “bzeefff” each time I see him.

When first arriving the dental assistants (females) were all so friendly and welcoming. We were sharing breakfast together, which consisted of Moroccan pastries and speciality breads.  While I was enjo ying myself and I decided to actually enjoy some pastries(as I was had been staying away from sugar for most of the week).  I dipped my pancake into some honey and there is some Arabic chatter.

Mr. Abdou says, “He says you are are round.”

Immediately, I put down the pastry and lose my appetite within seconds. They can see the expression in my face change and I say, “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

In the meantime, I am not really fine as I am wondering why do people always have to comment on how I look. I wore my glasses, no makeup, and a lose fitting top, and still someone comments.

Mr. Abdou says that “being round” in Morocco does not have the same meaning as America. He says, there is “slim, round, and fat.”

“Being round means having curves and that is what men like.”

Apparently, this was all a compliment, but for me I just would like to be left alone with my physical appearance. While it is all joking and fun in Morocco, I still would rather discuss something else, but Ce La Vie.

As we were eating breakfast, I was staring out at the front door to a bunch of mothers in jelabas and their children with their face smushed up to the window.  They were all eagerly waiting to get in and I was ready for the big rush.  I sat and prepared all the folders and welcomed them when they came in the door.

It became fun overtime as I would speak Arabic and French, but children knew I spoke English and they would practice their English. I would demonstrate how to brush your teeth and comfort the children who just kept crying and crying out of fear.  When Mr. Abdou was busy, I would go to the door and call the names.  Some of them were very difficult to pronounce, but I would try my best.  The funniest moment was when I pronounced a long name and everyone stood in front of me smiling and started laughing at me. I was also laughing with them as it was all quite humorous. There was another girl working with us and when she came to the door-they were not very friendly to her as she was a bit abrasive.  There really is a special connection with people from up above and boy do I cherish and appreciate it-incredible.

At lunch time, we all packed up into our cars and went to the doctor’s house for lunch. We shared cous cous and fruit and everyone was so happy and full of life. I really enjoy the Moroccan style of eating as it has this element of royalty to it. Each person gets their hands washed one by one by the helper using a silver tea pot and pouring water on each person’s hands (They do this in India as well).  There is usually a cart, which has the beverages on it. The Moroccan style furniture is very elegant and the silverware and plates are nice. The tea comes out with a special tea set.  It is really a nice experience each and every time.
 
 
 
 
 Abdou kisses the top of his head before he eats..
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I learned that dentists need 5 years on top of their 3 years for the University degree and to become a specialist that requires an extra 4 years.  To be admitted to a dental school is very competitive and one must receive very high scores on their test.

 

The dentist at the El Jadida clinic happens to be very cute.  He is quite young, 27, but I just liked the fact that he was a dentist and he was so good with the kids. He would pick them up and put them on his shoulder, kiss their cheeks, and walk them to the door.  All the work he does with the clinic is volunteer work, which is very sweet. He is truly a kind, good person-from appearance, but of course that can all change with Arab men.

I just loved the kids as they were so sweet and so strong.  There were the occasional kids who cried and would not go to the dentist when called, but overall they were wonderful. There was one boy who had, not one but two of his teeth extracted and he was smiling the whole entire time. It was not a good experience to see those who were held down by three of four dentists, but that is how it is done in Morocco.
Operation Smile Morocco is truly a wonderful group of people and to experiences such happiness and kindness is what makes Morocco special. Everyone was so kind, sweet, and welcoming-truly a mission to remember
 

 


 
 
 
 
 
Dentists at Work
 
Love these boys-so sweet

 
 
Make Sure to Brush those Gums Kids!
 
Cute Dentist(in Red) At Work
 
 
2 Teeth Pulled and Smiling the Whole Time- Adorable Boy
 
 

 
                    Changing Lives One Smile at A Time -PRIS-

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Advice for Flight, but She Stays


While I emailed my friend about some of my latest updates, she was giving me some motherly advice-the kind of advice which we call tough love. Her advice was a bit of a slap right back into reality.  While I have been focused on making money, I have been distracted by men.  I want to fill this void of lack of support and love from family and friends, which I try to fill it with men..And I am suppose to be smart? Ha

She reminded me about her experiences with Arabic men. While she managed to find one great guy and the rest bad apples, she reminds me of all the dishonesty, games, and lies.  They like to fool you and make things seem hopeful, but then at the end you just end of with a lump of coal. Hence, the what is at the end of the rainbow post?

She now actually sends me SMS messages from Canada telling me to get out of the country. It always makes me laugh and then sometimes I sit and ponder, “Perhaps, she is right.”

     But something makes me stay just a little bit longer......

Put the Ex in Ex-Boyfriend

Perhaps, it is important to emphasize the “Ex” in “Ex-boyfriend.” Of course, there is a reason why a relationship does not work to begin with and acceptance of your differences to move on is important. 

                          Acceptance, Reality, and Let go

With Mr. Casa, we did break up for a reason and our break up lead to good things in my life.  I never sat around and thought that we would get back together, as it clearly had been over for months. Being alone somewhere in the world, you just miss that person mostly as a friend, a partner, and the feeling of happiness they give you.  I know that he is not the one for me, but I just continued to chase around that feeling with him.  When you have a special feeling for someone, this does not just disappear off into thin air.  All the bad things from your relationship fade away and all the good comes to light. The feeling resurfaces and becomes vivid when you are with them.

If women can just focus on ex part then perhaps there would be less attention given to them in our minds.  They are Chapters or sometimes just pages to our actual real life stories.  They can build us up and break us down. They can contribute positively and negatively to our being. They can touch our hearts and break our hearts. But at the end of it all, they were a learning experience and a contribution of memories and words for books and chapters......

Fight or Flight Part Deux

The common question I get from my friends is, “What are you doing out there?” While I know what I am doing, I also know that I have no desire to do it all alone. I keep telling Mr.NYC Casa, there is a huge market for me and he says we can work together, but he is too busy. He has his own businesses and he can barely make time for me let alone assist me.  While I have “friends”, I am really just alone at the end of the day. It is not a good feeling and without strong support my success rate is not very high at this point.

 Now it is the 6 month mark and I evaluate what I am doing here and will I continue.  While I do not believe in giving up, there just seems to be cultural differences I just can not fully adapt to at times. The fun and adventure  is losing its shine and it sometimes feels like I just need to live a normal life with friends and family who care for me-not men who say they care and treat me with disrespect.  

While I love my students and I am just building good networks and contacts, I have to measure up if it is all truly worth it at the end of the day. To Moroccan standards, I am making a lot of money and have potential to make more.  While there is a big market for me, I still need to feel a bigger motivation or purpose for being here. I sit and speak with people about their purpose, but what about mine? I am giving to others and working with them to help develop their education, careers, and lives, but what about my own?
 
                Is it time to stop the travelling and just go home?

Superficial Beauty


While people keep commenting on how “beautiful” I am-it is a comment that is sweet and flattering one would think, but I would much rather hear about the beauty of my being- not the superficial exterior of my being.  With all my hardwork over the years- learning, beliefs, ideas, and education-I would like this beautiful part to shine.  At 28, I would much rather someone comment on my intelligence, wit, charm, humour, passions, or writing.

Of course, things depend on context and environment where being dressed up may produce these comments, but overtime I have significantly reduced the materialism and the focus on exterior.  While I still love designers and looking good on the exterior, I have found and realized things that are much more important in life.  And the beauty truly lies in the inside..

Beauty is such a superficial thing, especially in Casablanca. Women spend hours and invest so much time into beauty. The perfect hair, the perfect makeup, and mostly fake designer things and at the end of the day it all comes off and you are left with just you.

Do you feel beautiful with your own true self or do you need beauty to define you? Beauty does not define me by any means. I am not a Bollywood  actress, a princess, or the most beautiful woman in the world. I am just me- an imperfect human being who tries her best to be myself. 

For real women, I believe their true beauty shines through their character and the simple things. You can see their beauty in a few wrinkles on their face, their smile, the feeling they give you of happiness, their intelligence, their passion and drive.  These women are beautiful in amazing ways that surpass an exterior of hair, makeup, and designer clothing. 

                    Wake up Casablanca and Redefine Beauty

Pris Loses The Game


Perhaps no one actually won and it was just a great night and another great memory for Casablanca, but it appears he won. The night ended with a, “See you around maybe Take care Inchallah.” This was an “Inchallah,” which meant “Sure, Yeah, See you, Whatever.” It was such a slap in the face.  He said, “You don’t need to perceive it in a negative way.”

Again, this is another line of Arab crap. While I feel thankful for the night because I was craving just this one night spending time with him, his friends, dancing, and laughing-I got it.

Therefore, the chapter can be closed right? Yes,  but I feel a bit angry that he won. I had the moment to walk away from him and he ended up coming out on top. His Arab ego is inflated thinking, “Oh she wants to get back together with me. I am the best.” When I never asked or mentioned getting back together um like ever=)
It is ridiculous because he was the one who came so close to me, sweet gestures, whispering about me, and staring at me(but this is Arab romance, romance, romance, and then BAM I don’t know you.)At the end of the day I am still competitive Pris and I can not accept that I lost the challenge. I had the opportunity to walk out with 100 percent satisfaction and now I am left with 50 percent. 

Perhaps this Arab way of romance is just not for a girl like me. A girl who believes in truly caring for someone and expressing yourself like a normal human being rather than repressing your feelings and emotions.  Then your emotions come flooding out one day when you see the person because you know you missed them, but you just won’t admit it-messed up.
Mr. Casa does not think I am the one for him and I do not think he is the one for me. But we definitely enjoy each other's company. Therefore, what is so wrong with being two friends who have fun together and make each other happy?

It was a nice reunion amongst friends and ex's, but the Chapter on us is definitely closed. A Blast from the past and Casablanca is one small city where the ghost may reappear one day. Next time, Priscilla will not be missing her moment to walk away with pride, dignity, and a overdose of satisfaction=)

Missing the Moment

While God presented me with the perfect opportunity- I repeat the perfect opportunity to take the high road and  leave with class, a perceived image of happiness, and a clean heart. Priscilla decided to be a naive, stupid girl and accept the invitation to go out with them.  Since he did not ask and his friend did, I even asked, “Would it be okay Mr. Casa?”

Oh please!

We went out with Mr. Vespa’s cousin and wife, Mr. Vespa, and Mr. Casa.  As I sit next to him, things feel a bit awkward, but we are talking and keeping things friendly. His English is not very good, but I don’t comment on this because I am nice. Although, he makes a comment that “I’m not very smart.” Ha! I will not even go there with him as I will let him ego inflate to think he is Mr. Intelligence.

We arrive and walk inside and memories come flooding through. I run into my girlfriend from the cupcake shop and this could not have been a more perfect time to see her. I sit with her, her Irish boss, and other friends.  There are no tables open so I am kind and ask to make space for Mr. Casa and Mr. Vespa. I figure Mr. Vespa would be sitting with us too, but it was just Mr. Casa who came to sit right next to me.
                                                      Irish Man and Irish Woman
 
                                                                    Adorable Kelty

 


We sit together and she keeps commenting on how beautiful I look and her friends say the same thing. It must have been some glow produced from Mr. Casa, which lead people to just keep commenting on how I look.  Her friend also comments that he thinks I am Mr. Casa’s wife. I start laughing and Mr. Casa acts like he did not hear it. 

As time goes by, I just sit there like a doll in place.  I sit quietly and do not speak much, but keep myself reserved.  I felt nervous with him sitting next to me and I felt his eyes on me at various moments. Without any hesitation, he placed his hand on my leg and I just stared at his hand and thought, “What is he doing?” I sat down at the table and I saw him speaking to Mr. Vespa and looking at me from the corner of my eye.  He just kept looking at me with such big eyes and a huge smile(if he only had a mirror to see himself as he demonstrated more interest than me). 
Perhaps, he was really just saying to him, “Yeah she is totally into me I am sure she will go home with me at the end of the night.”

The chances of it actually being something sweet are slim to none with the overall result of the night.  Towards the end, there is a disagreement at the table and he places his arm around me. Before you know it, we are in the car holding hands and I am resting my head on his shoulder.  I feel like we are right back where we started as it really felt like nothing had changed..

In the car, we are blasting Arabic music and we are all dancing and being silly. It begins to rain and his friend is joking around opening up the window and getting me wet.  Mr. Vespa is singing and being his crazy self. And there is Mr. Casa and I just sitting with one another feeling content.

At this point, I am just enjoying the moments and watching myself go right back into the Arab Spider’s Web.  He invites me to his friend's wedding and I say "Yes."  As he knows I do not like Armstrong so we end up going to Rose bar.  It is surprising that he actually  caters to my interests, but it was all part of his master plan.

We arrive at Rose bar, which is situated right on the ocean and I stand there in front raising my arms up in the air and looking up into the sky and standing high above the ocean. 

“Hello my dear God- thank you for these happy moments.”

Inside Rosebar, things get even more interesting and the hotness gets bumped up a notch.  Not drinking and absolutely loving the DJ, we begin to dance close with one another.  It is getting very close and I try to back up and distance myself, but he is glued to me.  He goes to the bathroom and he tells me to stay with Adil?  I see him for one night and he thinks he can control my each and every move.

While I was standing with him, again I just keep getting attention. I highlight this because it is strange receiving so much attention, but I figured it out. I have a glow of happiness and I am standing with him and these men are attracted to this look and this feeling.  From each table, I felt eyes glaring at me. And I had a plan to go and start talking to one to make Mr. Casa jealous, but I did not get a chance because he was so close to me at each minute.  He just would not leave my side and we had a great time dancing. I was floating in memories and happiness. The touch of his hand was different as he had a tighter grip. It felt like he had missed me with the grip of his hand and his protective behavior-clear and evident.  

There was something different about his grasp on his hand- he would hold my hand tight like he did not want to let go.

I sat down to speak with a Moroccan girl who is headed to Miami for Winter Music festival and we were talking about DJs. I see Mr. Vespa whispering to him and them looking at me again. What are they saying??
While I tried to be rational and be strong and uncaring, I just got completely caught in his web.  Being with him felt so good and I did think “Wow what if we get together and things feel this good again.” I was stuck inside of his Arab Spider web and it was too late for me to escape. 

To be continued.............

St Patrick's Day 2013

After having an invitation to go to Spain, I declined and stayed in Casablanca. While I really wanted to go to Spain, it was a split decision to stay as I already had my bag packed, but God apparently had other plans for me.....

First, I had dinner with my French tutor’s son and his friends at a Chinese restaurant. We had a very nice time and I decided to invite them to the Irish Pub where Mr. Casa’s friends had invited me.

I received an SMS from a friend Mr. Sambuco earlier in the day inviting me to the Irish Pub for St. Patrick’s celebration.  They had also contacted me the night before to meet them. I felt quite unsure about going as it would be like one big reunion of the ex-girlfriend and the ex-boyfriend's friends.  I thought about it and decided that it would be good to see Mr. Sambuco, Mr. Vespa, and Mr.India-not to see Mr Casa.  I figured Mr. Casa would not be there because I was going and he would not want to see me, but this was apparently not the case....

Before walking in, I saw Mr. Sambuco and another friend Mr. Amin outside. I immediately ran up to them smiling big after months and months of not seeing them. Both of them acted nice, but a bit strange and not as welcoming as I had expected .  Mr. Sambuco said he would come back inside and he never did......

Walking in with my entourage behind me(my friends from dinner), I immediately see Omar at the front table and run up to him and give him a big hug. Again, he acts a bit fake like he did not really want to see me(but he just called me the night before asking me to come see out).  He ends up leaving after 5 or 10 minutes after my arrival (strange).

Sitting in the same spot I met him, there was the ghost live and in person-except this time I could not put my hood on my jacket and avoid him.  Instead of saying “Hi”, I just smiled at him, but did not say anything and I continued on around the bar to make my rounds.

With this being my place, I went up to all my friends to say “Bonsoir”, which my friends are basically every staff member that works there. I actually do not like the place at all, but I do like the people, which is why I come in just to see them.  Each time I go in, I walk through the kitchen and surprise people and say hello-it is always a welcoming experience-perhaps the closest to home I can get .
 
                                   
 

While I am seeing everyone, I am not seeing Mr. Nawfel(my teddybear) therefore I  am pacing around looking for him. Finally, he appears and I run up to him and give him a warm embrace.  I walk with him behind the bar to catch up and make myself a “Green Oulmes” Sparkling Mineral water.  We are taking pictures with a woman’s St. Patrick’s Day hat and making jokes-it is such a nice moment. 
                                            Me and Nawfel
 

Standing behind the bar, I try to enjoy and ignore the fact that Mr. Casa is sitting right in front of me. Mr. Casa is definitely not ignoring the fact that I am there, as I feel his eyes follow me throughout the room....
 
The table with my entourage was right next to Mr. Casa’s table so I sat and talked with them, but slowly I watched my body gravitate over to his table...Instead of Mr. Sambuco and Mr. India being there-it was just him sitting there alone with Mr. Vespa, but Mr. Vespa was dancing and socializing most of the time.  As I went back over, I run up to Mr. Vespa and say hello  and I was introduced to Mr. Vespa’s cousin. Mr. Casa says, “You didn’t say hello to everyone.”

Therefore, I sit and say “hello” again to everyone and give him the attention he is looking for from me.  As I am trying to ignore him, it like a big, pink elephant in the room that you can’t help but notice no matter how hard you try. We begin to talk and I try my best to be my “cool, confident” self sharing with him my business ventures and trying to rub my success and happiness into his face. He mentions that he read my blog and I become shy and nervous because I thought he read everything I wrote about him. Although, he only read a few posts, which were not even good ones. He also mentions seeing my website and says, “It was just one page.” Oh these Arab men always find a way to work in a negative and make you feel bad. He also comments on me only doing step 1 of my business work.  There are so many complex business ideas, opportunities, and ventures that I have no desire to explain to him. Again, he is such a critical Arab. 
We talk about his new job, my business, and it comes up that he does not have a girlfriend.  It does not come up that I am seeing Mr. NYC Casa and I am sure he is seeing some girls, but he does not mention it.

Mr. Vespa comes over and comments on “how pretty” I look and he asks Mr. Casa, “Doesn’t she look pretty?” Mr. Casa smiling “Yeah she does.”

Within my behaviour, the Eye Flutter was present and distracting the cool, confident Priscilla.  I was batting my eyes like a 10 year old and I felt distracted by his cuteness and flirting with him. When I felt this happen, I consciously pulled myself away to talk with others.  We both just have the "look" towards one another- a look with intention, a look with flirtation, and a look of desire.

While there was one Irish man playing music on his guitar, there was also a female live singer who was just fabulous.  She had a really nice voice and energy and I felt like I had seen her before somewhere.   I was smiling at everyone and I felt ALIVE.  I was taking a picture and a sweet Irish man puts my camera down on the bar and grabs my hand to dance.  Mr. Vespa is dancing and I am dancing-all eyes are on us and it feels like a such a great moment. 
Our dancing ends and I go back in the kitchen and they boys have me walk out a birthday cake for one of the customers. Each and every moment Mr. Casa is sitting right there seeing all the attention I am getting from everyone and I am shining bright in the room.  I receive such satisfaction from him sitting there and witnessing it all-truly the perfect moment.
 
 
Mr. Casa......

 

It was around midnight and people were beginning to leave and my entourage was heading home to sleep. Mr. Vespa had invited me to Le Corniche- a place filled with even more memories of us...

While I thought about seeing Mr. Casa many times, God could not have presented a better opportunity or way to see him. All the attention, the comments, the glow of happiness I had-this was  MY MOMENT.

I had been waiting for this moment for months. The moment when the ex-girlfriend sees ex-boyfriend and proves she is happy, smart, beautiful, and living life. It  was the PERFECT moment for me to say, “See you Mr. Casa take care” and walk right out the door.

                                       Does she Seize the Moment or Does she follow her feeling?