Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Stupid Girls Better Fit for Arab Men?

There is absolutely not one doubt in my mind that my life would be significantly easier and carefree if I was not as smart. On a daily basis, I am thinking up different theories, beliefs, and ideas related to psychology, culture, people, needs, wants. It feels like my mind is on overload with all the experiences and education over the past 28 years. While my ability to psychoanalyze is a gift, it can be harmful with men. Instead of just being dumb and believing, I listen to everything, watch their nonverbal body language/cues, and make connections between behavioral actions. While I am psychoanalyzing a culture, the Arab men are a part of this culture I analyze. And these men and their behavior is truly psychologically fascinating, but it just happens to be at my expense. Perhaps, this should be studied in a formal research paper and not in a live research study dating Moroccans because it takes a girl on an emotional rollar coaster ride, especially dealing with some of the worst cases of Arab machismo.

While these Arab men think they are oh so smart, I know and prove to be smarter, but my heart gets in the way. Of course, there is my rational mind and my emotional mind and obviously I fall weak to my emotional, romantic side, especially with Mr. Casa and Mr. NYC. While Mr. NYC constantly comments on how smart I am, he still does make attempts to outsmart me and he succeeds. Of course he would because his Arabic charm makes him win me over and my defenses and ability to be objective goes out the window. But when I am actually outsmarted, I will admit it and take responsibility, but of course I feel a bit of shame for my falling for it.

                              Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me....

The best part is when I outsmart them and they just sit in disbelief. For me dating Arab men and actually ending up with an Arab man, I have recently thought "How would this ever work?"

They have their own deep seeded issues, which significantly connect with the Arab culture and treatment towards women. I end up with three Arab men this past couple years who can not express themselves appropriately and identify with their feelings. In what world would a relationship like this work? Perhaps, I should be dating an old psychiatrist or psychoanalyst, I never have been with someone in my field, but I need someone around my same intellectual depth.

My lovely friend brought this to my attention in her email and I just include a few of her words:

you are a beautiful woman, BUT you are smart, too smart for them. sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if we were a little more dumb... no! just joking... I've always preferred being smart over being adored... but I still wonder: why can't we have it both???!!!???

I would like to say that we can have both and we can find someone who appreciates us for having both. While people comment on my "beauty," I do not think it is the outside that is beautiful. It is God's spirit shining through my inside. He makes me beautiful and that is what people see and connect deeply with.  Having an Arab man understand that will most likely not happen, but I know where beauty comes from and I know I would never give up my intellect for a man. It is not going to ever happen for any man ever!

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