After having an invitation to go to Spain, I declined and stayed in
Casablanca. While I really wanted to go to Spain, it was a split decision to
stay as I already had my bag packed, but God apparently had other plans for
me.....
Does she Seize the Moment or Does she follow her feeling?
First, I had dinner with my French tutor’s son and his friends at a
Chinese restaurant. We had a very nice time and I decided to invite them to the
Irish Pub where Mr. Casa’s friends had invited me.
I received an SMS from a friend Mr. Sambuco earlier in the day inviting
me to the Irish Pub for St. Patrick’s celebration. They had also contacted me the night before to
meet them. I felt quite unsure about going as it would be like one big reunion
of the ex-girlfriend and the ex-boyfriend's friends. I
thought about it and decided that it would be good to see Mr. Sambuco, Mr.
Vespa, and Mr.India-not to see Mr Casa. I figured Mr. Casa would not be there because
I was going and he would not want to see me, but this was apparently not the case....
Before walking in, I saw Mr. Sambuco and another friend Mr. Amin
outside. I immediately ran up to them smiling big after months and months of
not seeing them. Both of them acted nice, but a bit strange and not as
welcoming as I had expected . Mr.
Sambuco said he would come back inside and he never did......
Walking in with my entourage behind me(my friends from dinner), I immediately see
Omar at the front table and run up to him and give him a big hug. Again, he
acts a bit fake like he did not really want to see me(but he just called me the
night before asking me to come see out).
He ends up leaving after 5 or 10 minutes after my arrival (strange).
Sitting in the same spot I met him, there was the ghost live and in
person-except this time I could not put my hood on my jacket and avoid
him. Instead of saying “Hi”, I just
smiled at him, but did not say anything and I continued on around the bar to
make my rounds.
With this being my place, I went up to all my friends to say “Bonsoir”,
which my friends are basically every staff member that works there. I actually
do not like the place at all, but I do like the people, which is why I come in
just to see them. Each time I go in, I
walk through the kitchen and surprise people and say hello-it is always a
welcoming experience-perhaps the closest to home I can get .
While I am seeing everyone, I am not seeing Mr. Nawfel(my teddybear)
therefore I am pacing around looking for
him. Finally, he appears and I run up to him and give him a warm
embrace. I walk with him behind the bar to
catch up and make myself a “Green Oulmes” Sparkling Mineral water. We are taking pictures with a woman’s St.
Patrick’s Day hat and making jokes-it is such a nice moment.
Me and Nawfel
Standing behind the bar, I try to enjoy and ignore the fact that Mr.
Casa is sitting right in front of me. Mr. Casa is definitely not ignoring the
fact that I am there, as I feel his eyes follow me throughout the room....
The table with my entourage was right next to Mr. Casa’s table so I sat
and talked with them, but slowly I watched my body gravitate over to his
table...Instead of Mr. Sambuco and Mr. India being there-it was just him
sitting there alone with Mr. Vespa, but Mr. Vespa was dancing and socializing
most of the time. As I went back over, I
run up to Mr. Vespa and say hello and I was
introduced to Mr. Vespa’s cousin. Mr. Casa says, “You didn’t say hello to
everyone.”
Therefore, I sit and say “hello” again to everyone and give him the
attention he is looking for from me. As
I am trying to ignore him, it like a big, pink elephant in the room that you
can’t help but notice no matter how hard you try. We begin to talk and I try my
best to be my “cool, confident” self sharing with him my business ventures and
trying to rub my success and happiness into his face. He mentions that he read
my blog and I become shy and nervous because I thought he read everything I
wrote about him. Although, he only read a few posts, which were not even good
ones. He also mentions seeing my website and says, “It was just one page.” Oh
these Arab men always find a way to work in a negative and make you feel bad.
He also comments on me only doing step 1 of my business work. There are so many complex business ideas, opportunities, and ventures that I
have no desire to explain to him. Again, he is such a critical Arab.
We talk
about his new job, my business, and it comes up that he does not have a
girlfriend. It does not come up that I
am seeing Mr. NYC Casa and I am sure he is seeing some girls, but he does not mention it.
Mr. Vespa comes over and comments on “how pretty” I look and he asks Mr.
Casa, “Doesn’t she look pretty?” Mr. Casa smiling “Yeah she does.”
Within my behaviour, the Eye
Flutter was present and distracting the cool, confident Priscilla. I was batting my eyes like a 10 year old and
I felt distracted by his cuteness and flirting with him. When I felt this
happen, I consciously pulled myself away to talk with others. We both just have the "look" towards one another- a look with intention, a look with flirtation, and a look of desire.
While there was one Irish man playing music on his guitar, there was
also a female live singer who was just fabulous. She had a really nice voice and energy and I
felt like I had seen her before somewhere.
I was smiling at everyone and I felt ALIVE. I was taking a picture and a sweet Irish man
puts my camera down on the bar and grabs my hand to dance. Mr. Vespa is dancing and I am dancing-all
eyes are on us and it feels like a such a great moment.
Our dancing ends and I go back in the kitchen
and they boys have me walk out a birthday cake for one of the customers. Each and
every moment Mr. Casa is sitting right there seeing all the attention I am getting from everyone and I am shining bright in the room. I receive such satisfaction from him sitting there and witnessing it all-truly the perfect moment.
Mr. Casa......
It was around midnight and people were beginning to leave and my
entourage was heading home to sleep. Mr. Vespa had invited me to Le Corniche- a
place filled with even more memories of us...
While I thought about seeing Mr. Casa many times, God could not have
presented a better opportunity or way to see him. All the attention, the
comments, the glow of happiness I had-this was
MY MOMENT.
I had been waiting for this moment for months. The moment when the ex-girlfriend sees ex-boyfriend and proves she is happy, smart, beautiful, and living life. It was the PERFECT moment for me to say, “See you Mr. Casa take care” and walk
right out the door.
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